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I had another night of insomnia, and finally started feeling around 7 like I could actually catch some sleep. You know, just in time for the alarm to go off.  Thankfully, it is my day off, so I was able to exchange a few words with my love as he woke and I tried to sleep, and I felt like it was a moment straight out of Ladyhawke.

I love the story behind that movie when I first saw it.  I tried to watch it again years later with a friend, only to be disappointed.  The 80s synthesizer music and dated special effects seemed so distracting from what should have been a timeless tale of love and longing, magic and triumph. It is always hard when being so excited to share a beloved movie with someone who had never seen it before only to see it through their eyes and know it wasn’t quite what I remembered. I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me before to see if there was a book.

I thought about how surprising it was to me that Hollywood hadn’t decided to do a remake of Ladyhawke considering the love of remakes and sequels in the past few years. Then it occurred to me that Ladyhawke seemed like it could actually benefit from George Lucas’s touch.  Upgrade the graphics, redo the soundtrack, turn it back into the movie I remember instead of being jarred out of the story by technical incongruities.  I thought it over for several minutes in thoughts dulled by lack of sleep, and I couldn’t see the flaw in the logic.  A little update, and nothing could possibly go wrong.  This wasn’t like a blaster battle where he could do a little cut and make Guido shoot first, he couldn’t possibly mess up the story of Ladyhawke.

…..

Then it hit me.  I knew what he would do.  The urge to show off the new advanced graphics would be uncontrollable.  How would he change the wolf?  I don’t know.  Giant wolves have already been done.  One of the few scenes I enjoyed from the second Twilight movie (I blame my roommate for having seen them at all…) was those giant wolves running across the ground. The impact of their paws hitting the ground sent up explosions of dirt as if they were horse hooves.  If they cut every line of dialogue from the film, every stupid thing from that movie and they left only the scenes of the wolves, I would gladly pay full price for the DVD to watch the wolves.

He’d have to show off the graphics in some other way.  He’d change her from being a hawk to some larger bird of prey.  He might realize at some point that there would be a problem when the thief doesn’t show the right look of fear when this huge bird of prey lands on him.  Maybe he’d try to change her from being a raptor into a velociraptor.  Dinosaurs will give better marketing opportunities. Though dinosaurs have been done too. Maybe we’d better stick to the medieval time period and make some fantasy bird.  A roc? That will look awesome onscreen, but now people won’t have the appropriate looks of terror when the bird flies at them.  Maybe he’d dig in the original footage for outtakes where someone cringes when the hawk lands on them and splice it back into the movie so that the whole thing will make more sense.

End result is that I didn’t sleep, and kept on thinking it would be fun to see how others would answer the question “How will George Lucas screw up other favorite movies from your childhood?”

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